The hills are alive with the sound of arrogant arses

So I'm now in Munich, wondering how on earth to try and document the last few days.


On my last day in Slovenia, I spent the day with a lovely Australian girl, exploring the town and markets, including Metelkova, which is an autonomous sector of Ljubljana, absolutely covered in graffiti and shoes over the telephone wires. We stopped for an amazing burrito and the delightfully named "Juicy Pussy" cocktail, followed by a snickers crepe with nutella, peanuts and caramel. Amazing. My last night in Ljubljana ended up being much more eventual than I had planned. When I got back to the hostel, everyone, including the hostel workers,  was getting ready to go out to Metelkova, where there are a few "alternative" bars and people stand about drinking and chatting. It was a pretty good evening, although a few fights broke out. We stayed out until 4 just getting to know some locals.

The next morning, I made my merry way to Salzburg on a 6 hour train, an experience which I shared with Chad, an American I met on the train to Ljubljana. We developed a great technique of keeping our own carriage, by contracting sudden random narcolepsy each time someone passed by our door. Little did we know, works on the line meant we had to get a bus for 20 minutes before rejoining the train. This alone would produce little more than perhaps a tut, however, when we got on the bus, we made the grim discovery of the combination of Chad's broken chair and a German guy behind, who insisted on being the biggest arsehole known to man and pushing against the chairs, loudly complaining to play up to his audience. We named this period "bustration".

Train ride over, we arrived to Salzburg to be met with an atmosphere similar to Dulock (cf: Shrek). Cute town but absolutely dead. We ate in a Greek restaurant, which seemed to be a good idea and then later backfired in the stomach department. That evening, I did some laundry and then got accosted by possibly the weirdest Asian I have ever met. Just as a sidenote, Salzburg seems to be a magnet for Asians, a phenomena I shall name 'Asian Invasion'.

Yesterday was an eventful day to say the least. We got up early and caught a cable car to the top of the Unterberg Mountain, wearing definitely inappropriate clothing for snow. The top of the mountain looked a bit like a chewing gum advert in my humble opinion.

Later on, we popped onto a boat for a 40 minute cruise, which was overall dull, given that the riverside buildings of Salzburg are pretty boring. At the end though, the captain showed us his doughnutting skills with the boat, making everyone feel slightly nauseous.

After that, we ventured to the panoramic terrace of Salzburg which was nice and walked to the fortress, my favourite part of the stay. Stunning views and the opportunity to believe you are living in medieval times.

After that, we checked out a delicious Mexican restaurant and then headed back to the hostel. Here's where things got interesting and I had my first disaster of the trip. I got to my room to find that my key card didn't work and it had been over run with school children. The first thought was "where the fuck is my stuff?". I then got told off by the teacher who was accompanying the children for waking them up at half 11. Venturing down to reception, I find that all my stuff has been shoved into my rucksack and a bin bag and left at the reception, where any Tom, Dick or indeed Harry could access my things. I eventually discover that the hostel double booked and I had to change rooms for my second night, something I was unaware of.

After a lengthy argument with the arrogant cock at reception, I was told to wait until the morning to speak to the manager and was downgraded to a 12 bed dorm. This "dorm" would really be better described as a ward, since the girl above me on the bunk bed was talking to herself in German and I was given blank stares as I went about my daily business. I really expected Angelina Jolie and Whoopi Goldberg to appear.

Anyway, this morning, I chatted to another member of staff and got a full refund for a frankly terrible stay at the hostel.

My overall impression of Salzburg? It's a fairly pretty place, surrounded by gorgeous mountains. But it really lacks soul and character and to be honest, if they could charge you for oxygen I'm pretty positive they would.

This morning, I happily left Munich and got in a carriage with possibly the sweetest French family ever, complete with adorable little baby boy. Day saved.

And now, Munich. Got plans to venture out into the city centre in a little while and then really get some rest.